By: Dr. Brian Gannon
So your baby’s fifth birthday is coming up in August and you are trying to decide if he is ready for kindergarten. The state says you should be enrolling him, but your friends say you should hold him out a year. What’s a sensitive, caring parent to do? How will you know when your child is ready to start school? And is preschool really necessary?
Not every child needs to go to preschool. But there are some situations when preschool can be essential to a child’s growing mind. Children with learning difficulties, such as speech delays or motor problems, are usually advised to attend a state-funded preschool or Head Start program. Often if they are receiving therapies to help with these medical problems, the therapists prefer to provide services in a school setting if the child is old enough. Sometimes the services are only covered by the school system if the child is enrolled in a preschool program, so attendance is required in order for the child to continue therapies beyond age three, when children graduate from First Steps.
Children who are socially awkward or shy may also benefit from a school-type setting before full-day kindergarten begins. These kids have lots of options, because often full-day Head Start is too much of a change from the home environment. They may do better in a Children’s Day Out program for a few hours only 2-3 days a week. These programs have some academic component to prepare children for kindergarten, but they are not full-time preparatory pre-K programs like the ones through the school system.
What do children learn in preschool? Sharing with others, hands-on crafts, recognizing letters and colors, counting, and classroom rules. The kindergarten teacher will expect your child to have these skills before he sets foot in her classroom, so if you think you do not have what it takes to teach these things (time, patience, motivation, etc.) then preschool may be for you.
Kindergarten
The other big skill required for kindergarten is a reasonable attention span. The code word for a child with a short attention span is “immature.” For example, “Johnny quit t-ball because he was not mature enough,” meaning he wandered around in the outfield, did not understand the rules, and got hit by the ball because he was not watching the action. Some kids need to go ahead and start kindergarten, even if they do have attention problems or difficulty following rules. These children need the structure of school, and no amount of extra time at home to “mature” will teach him that other adults have the same rules as his parents. These are the kids who will likely need a second year of kindergarten (some schools offer a “transition” year for the children between kindergarten and first grade) because they spend the entire year learning social skills, and the second time around they can focus on learning letters and numbers and the academic material of kindergarten.
Some children will very immature and active at 4 years old, and if parents worry their child will not be ready for school at 5, here are some ideas to teach the busy child how to calm down, so school will go better. Practice having your child do quiet, calm activities, like coloring or crafts. Start out being at your child’s side, then try letting him work alone for five minutes, and see if he sticks with it. Over time, work up to coloring for 20 minutes with minimal input from the adult, maybe as the adult does some household task nearby. For example, “Sam, I would love for you to make a birthday card for Grandma. Here is some paper and some crayons. I will be over here washing dishes, so let me know if you need my help.” The child learns that his efforts are important to you, and besides the skill of staying on task, he is also learning how to work independently and creatively without needing constant input from a trusted adult.
Separation anxiety
Dropping your child at preschool or kindergarten can produce worries in both parent and child. Some families should consider full-time or part-time preschool as a practice run. It gives both a chance to see what their day will be like when they must be apart, but if it is not full-time, then there is less fear of the unknown, because you can stay closer to the familiar daily routines of the family, possibly including a more successful nap.
The first day of school can best be described as a rite of passage. Some families navigate this time without any problems or anxiety, but some need more time to prepare and gradually work towards it. Only you as a parent can make the right decision for your child. It’s perfectly fine to commit to a choice, and stick with it. Don’t second guess yourself. Nobody knows your child better than you.