By: Elaine Martin
The Back-to-School season and I have a difficult relationship. It is not easily defined, and the feelings I have toward this August “holiday” change throughout my lifetime. Confused? Let me try to explain.
One of my earliest memories related to Back-to-School has to do with watching my older brother walk to the corner holding his brand new Land of the Lost lunchbox, steps away from getting on the dazzling school bus. I was watching him through our kitchen window, weeping because I was not yet old enough to attend the party, a.k.a., kindergarten. I was devastated that he got to hang with all the neighborhood kids while I was stuck at home with Mom and our little brother who stuck walnuts up his nose.
Well, as you can guess, I grew older, and of course, my feelings of that first day of school changed accordingly. I learned that first day was definitely one that caused mourning, but now I ached for the privilege of staying home. Why did I think being in a room with 20 other kids learning how to hold a pencil would be more fun than lying on shag carpet, playing Combat on our Atari?
I thought my rapport with the dreaded back-to-school demon ended when I graduated college. Surely, my life would no longer be counted in terms of grading periods or semesters, right? I was no longer a student; I was now an adult! The sad thing about that statement is that I was now an adult – the days of summer breaks were over. The real world offered no 3 month hiatus, so when I saw the school buses driving down the roads in August, I somewhat (now, shamefully) remember thinking, “Na-na-na-na-na – your fun time is over now too!”
Motherhood eventually came along, and again my perspective on back-to-school changed. For the first time, I was happy when school started up again. I had the blessing of being able to stay home with my kids when they were young, so that first bell ring of August meant that the town was returned to preschoolers again. My toddler could be at the park without me being afraid of an older child having fun but accidentally running over her trying to beat his friends to the slide. The library had a better movie selection because summer family car trips were over. In my mind, the world was at peace again.
Fast forward five years, and I now have a child entering school! How did this happen??? One minute we were teaching her to drink from a sippy cup, and now she is leaving me? Yep, it was time to switch emotions again. The tears came, but I took a deep breath and watched her board the bus. It seemed like an eternity, but she did return at the end of the day with a huge smile, so excited about growing older. School turned into a time of adventure, both socially and academically. With each passing school year and her sisters eventually following along, I saw those first days turn into more and more of a time to see what the Lord had planned for them. Who would be their teachers? Their best friends? What would they be learning this grade? I took pictures and scrapbooked them, noting their growth and whispering prayers of thankfulness.
With the beginning of the 2013-2014 school year, my feelings are ones of wanting to search for a Life Remote Control. My oldest is now in 10th grade, with the others in 8th and 5th. Where is the pause button?! How many more years will I have to help them buy backpacks, try on new clothes, and attend parent teacher conferences? My stomach is in knots as I realize the day is coming way too soon when I will be exchanging gentle morning wake-up times for college road trips.
For today at least, join me as I resolve to live firmly in the present, thankful for a wonderful summer with my kiddos and mindful that these stressful days of shuffling kids around will soon be gone. Embrace the chaos of kids rushing school, tidy up the house, then pour a fresh cup of coffee and watch a few episodes of your favorite show on Netflix with your rediscovered “me” time. You’ll miss this moment soon enough…probably around 5:00 when you’re rushing to warm up last night’s meatloaf between soccer practice and composing 3 point essays.