By: Jill Pendergraft
The holidays have crept up on us once again this year. You can almost smell the turkey cooking in the oven and hear the ringing of the Salvation Army bells. Your mailbox has reached capacity with advertisements and you’re just beginning to use the response “Let’s wait and see what Santa brings you for Christmas” to buy your kids some time for that thing that they just have to have.
We should never be surprised every year when the holidays are upon us. Sometimes we react to the timing like someone has thrown us the date at the last minute, and we must manage the hustle and bustle the best way we know how: utter chaos. Let’s vow to make this holiday season much better than the last (or last few), because we will not act stunned at its coming, and most of all we will remember what really matters most.
If you asked many families, moms especially, to truthfully use one word to describe the holiday season, I would venture to guess that “busy” would be at the top of the list. Sometimes the busyness of the season can be a good thing…visiting families, fellowshipping with friends, and enjoying the company of those who remind you of what the holidays are all about. However, our busyness this time of year does not always give us thoughts of sugarplums dancing in our heads or chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Our attitudes have been twisted at the craziness we feel, and the little patience we possessed on a normal day seems to have withered. Why does what should be the most joyous time of the year seem to rear the most stress and depression in our culture?
Obviously we are being pulled in what seems like a thousand different directions. We still have a full workweek and normal family activities, but we pile on little Justin’s rehearsals for the school Christmas performance, Caroline’s dance recital practice, and Joy’s required volunteer hours for her school club. And that’s not even close to being all. There’s school Christmas parties, work parties, gift exchanges, family gatherings, church services, cooking, baking, shopping….and the list goes on and on. What we think we are doing as good for our kids or family members ultimately ends up starting fights or brewing resentment.
Let’s change our holiday approach this season. I am not suggesting you drop everything and sit at home in order to feel defeated by your busyness in year’s past. Instead of dragging our families (or ourselves) in so many different directions, let’s try to build in some time to stop and be grateful for the blessings we have.
Families need restoration from their busyness. Restoration can happen in a variety of ways, but it remains a necessity to nurture a healthy family. Do your kids know your schedule better than they know your story? Have they seen your grief or stress and how you have overcome it? A restorative act in your family does not require a vacation or even a lot of money spent on “things” that we think will stimulate our happiness. Let’s find joy in the quality of time we spend together as a family rather than the quantity of time we find ourselves busy.
Also, our busyness should not dictate our time (or lack of) to demonstrate a meaningful love to our family. Every family will experience changing phases of life that bring on more hectic schedules, differing priorities, demanding struggles, and altered types of busyness. Let’s start now, before we get caught up in the frenzy of the holiday season. Declare now that you will build in a margin of time during each day or even each week that only focuses on each other and not each other’s schedules. Whether you choose to use your time in the car driving from one activity to the next to ask your kids how their days were or you have meaningful conversation at the dinner table (technology free), decide that your family will make time for each other.
Our family finds hope and encouragement in the busy season because of its meaning in our life as Christians. We know that no amount of presents, recitals, work, or even food can fill our hollowed hearts without the love of Christ. This is what our focus and goal is even in the midst of the shopping, meetings, parties, gatherings, etc. How will you and your family break up the busyness this holiday season to focus more on the blessings rather than your burdens?