By: Melody Wallace
Middle school is a new adventure that can be both exciting and frightening for students, as well as their parents. It is a time in a child’s life when they are asked to make more independent choices and demonstrate their individuality, which can sometimes leave parents feeling like they are no longer a necessary factor in the equation. The important thing to remember is that our children are going to continue to grow and mature, regardless of how much we fight the process. It is our job as parents to be knowledgeable about the challenges that they may encounter and make sure that we are nearby for guidance when needed.
A Middle-Schooler’s Biggest Fears:
Making New Friends and Fitting In
Most students will be entering a middle school that blends students together from several local elementary schools. This means that your child will most likely know some friends going into middle school, but will have the opportunity to make many more new ones. PBSkids.org offers some great advice about being open-minded to making new friends in middle school, “Although it’s natural to spend time with people who share your interests, try to keep yourself open to everyone, despite how they might dress or spend some of their time.”
Your child may go through different stages and want to wear or try new things. Have an open mind to these requests, while still maintaining the importance of such values as modesty, integrity, and character.
Learning the Layout
Many students are afraid that they will not be able to find their classes on time and will find themselves lost, late, and embarrassed. Once you receive your child’s schedule, take the time to take a tour with them around the school in order to help them locate their classes. In order to help foster more independence, send an older sibling or trusted friend that has attended the school to show them around and help them feel more comfortable.
Cracking the Code
For some reason, the idea of navigating that combination lock can cause the butterflies to stir in even the most confident of children. Practice working a combination lock at home, and then have your student practice on their own locker at school. By supplying the minimal necessary items to help decorate and organize their new locker you can help ease the transition and embrace individuality. Keep in mind that the main purpose is to provide a functional and organized space for them to store items.
Dressing Out
Another fear that students have is that of having to dress out in front of others in gym class. As students’ young bodies begin to shape and mature, so do feelings of modesty and insecurity. Assure your child that the other students are also worried of being embarrassed and in the same hurry to get to class, so there shouldn’t be any time for gawking. You can also take some proactive steps, such as teaching proper hygiene (making sure they carry and know how to use deodorant), and taking the time to ensure undergarments are laundered and in good condition. If showers are an option or a requirement, take the time to discuss the best ways to be efficient and modest when others are around. The best thing that you can do is to make sure your child knows to dress out daily, follows the rules, and has a positive attitude about gym class, even if it means having a good sense of humor to avoid embarrassment.
Level of Difficulty
Many students (and parents) are afraid of the level of increased difficulty now that they are taking middle school level classes. The most important thing that you can do for your child is to help ensure that they are organized at school and at home. Continue to review their agenda book or planner each night for homework assignments, make sure that both assignments that need to be completed and finished assignments have their place, as well as ensuring that there is a quiet place at home to complete their homework. Keep an open line of communication with your child’s teachers via email and be aware of the various before and after school resources that are available to provide additional support.
The most important thing that you can do for your child during these transitional years is to be an empathetic encourager and a listening ear. You are their biggest fan, so it is only fitting that you cheer them on in their next big venture!