Q&A with Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW
Q: I am a mother to two kids ages 3 and 5. I am a single mom and I work two jobs. I feel like all I do is feed my kids fast food or pizza. They won’t eat fruits and vegetables and I feel like I am doing them a disservice. I do it because they eat it, it’s easier and cheap. Help me, help them?
A: This is a great question! We have all been there and we may still be there. The best part of this question is that you acknowledge that you need to do something different. None of us are perfect and sometimes fast and easy is the route we have to take, but this shows me that you want to do better. All kids, no matter what the age, are watching us. When we eat fast food, they want fast food. We are the biggest role models in our children’s lives. This is a perfect age for you to get the kids involved in making meals together as a family. Kids love to cook. They love to bake. I think if they are involved in the process then they are more willing to try new things. There are tons of recipes on the Internet to help you introduce kids to fruits and vegetables. Probably lots of the food that you are buying, you could be making at home. And if you make it at home chances are it’s probably healthier too. Just start out slowly. Let them pick two meals that you all will make together for the week. If you are eating pizza, nuggets and burger then you can make those items at home. I think you will find that you are spending less money too. Eating out and fast food may seem cheap at the time but if you added up how much you are spending, I think you’d be surprised. You are the only one that can change this for your kids and teach them what a healthy lifestyle looks like. You are their biggest role model. And don’t forget they watch everything we do!
Q: I have a 12-year-old son and he is involved in several sports. I am just wondering what your thoughts are in regards to sports and parents? I feel like I want my child to do their best but still have fun. I see so many parents today that are kind of crazy and push their kids so hard and I don’t even know if the kids want to be out there.
A: I know what you mean. My child has played several sports. And I have to admit that I’m sometimes that “crazy” parent you are talking about. LOL. It’s true. I think we all want our kids to make the most points and hit the ball the farthest. It’s a problem. I’ve come around to the fact that because I love something doesn’t mean my child will. And another huge factor is competitiveness. Some kids don’t have it. As much as you want them to, they are out there to have fun with their friends. And I think we, me included, need to settle down and just enjoy the game. I’ve seen crazy things at sporting events before. I won’t say where but I remember hearing a parent say to their young child, probably 4 or 5 years old, “That other girl is ridiculously better than you.” I was floored and I know they didn’t say it to hurt her feelings. It was probably just a statement and the child went on and never even paid attention to it. But I thought to myself, what are you doing? There’s such a fine line in between empowering our children to be better and tearing them down. I want my child to love whatever sport they are playing and not be in fear that I won’t think they did well. To answer your question I agree with you, I’ve been there and I think things need to change and people need to pay attention to their actions.
Q: My 2-year-old seems to me to be behind on some stuff. I’ve looked online and he should be saying lots of words by now and playing with others. And I just worry that we are behind or there is something else I need to be doing?
A: First of all, you need to check with your doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions. The Internet can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It is the most helpful tool out there, but it can also scare you to death. You need to know that all children develop differently and the milestones that are out there are to be used simply as a guideline. Some kids won’t talk until they are 3. Some kids need speech therapy. Most kids develop in their own time and everything is fine. Remember it’s not a race and your baby will develop in his own time and if there is a problem I’m sure there are resources and people out there than can help to assist you. Don’t worry and stay off the Internet!