Q&A with Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW
Q: My 3-year-old refuses to eat any type of vegetable other than a French fry. I don’t want to be “Mommy Dearest,” but I don’t know how else to make him eat well. Any suggestions?
A: I have a child that also considers the “French fry” a great vegetable. It’s very hard when you have a picky eater. I don’t know what makes them eat or not eat something. My child ate plenty of vegetables when she was little, but won’t touch them now. She will eat corn, but that’s where the line is drawn. I have had her try new vegetables, but I think she is predisposed to hate them. At least she will try new things. The only good suggestion I have is to find alternative methods to getting him to eat his vegetables. They make lots of juices that contain a daily amount of vegetables and the child won’t even know it. There are lots of books about putting vegetables into their food and they won’t taste it. I just saw last night that they now have popsicles that are all vegetables! Your son will think he’s getting a treat and you’ll have peace of mind that he is getting his veggies. I don’t however know what they taste like, so you’ll have to let me know.
Q: I am just wondering what your belief is on spanking vs. timeouts
A: This is a loaded question. I know there are so many different beliefs when it comes to this topic. I will just try to stick with my own personal belief. It’s funny you asked this question because I was recently listening to the radio and this same question was asked of the listeners and the responses surprised me. Most of the people that called in were pro-spanking. Their reasoning being that was how they were raised. Personally, I don’t spank my child but I also don’t judge other people who choose this form of discipline. I didn’t come to this decision overnight either. When my child was young, I would smack the top of her hand and I would say, “We don’t hit.” And I thought about how stupid I sounded. I was hitting her and saying, “We don’t hit.” I didn’t do that anymore after that. I feel that there are things I can take away or events that she won’t be able to attend that would feel much worse than a spanking. I think where we get off track nowadays is not the spanking vs. timeouts, but rather a lack of discipline. We are living in a world that has a whole lot of “entitled children.” And it makes us ask the question what is different now from twenty years ago?
Q: My 11 year-old daughter is asking if she can have a Facebook account. She says lots of her friends have them and I am being unreasonable by saying no. I just don’t feel comfortable with it. Am I being too harsh?
A: I do not think you are being too harsh at all. And it doesn’t matter because you are the parent and if you are not comfortable with it then there’s probably a good reason. I know that lots of kids have Facebook accounts, but that doesn’t mean that they should. Facebook requires that the users are 13 years old. Even if parents allow their children to have accounts prior to this age, I would still monitor the account and make sure that everything looks all right. I know that even on my own Facebook account, I sometimes see inappropriate articles or just weird stuff that can be in the newsfeed. I think it goes back to your rules and how you feel about these kinds of things. There is no perfect answer to any of these questions when it comes to technology. I just know that we have to be careful as parents when it comes to the social media world and our children. I had a friend that showed me an app called, Snapchat. I wasn’t familiar with it at all. Basically you can take a picture and send it to someone and it disappears in about five seconds. The photograph is gone. I didn’t really understand the purpose of it. But it’s kids who are using this app mostly and that terrified me. They could send anything and then there would be nothing to show that it was ever there. Just the thought of that I didn’t like at all. I think you have to be cautious when it comes to technology and be smart. And I think if you’re not comfortable with it then that’s your answer.