By: Elaine Martin
Who would have ever thought a spontaneous summer idea in 2004 would turn into a new favorite January tradition? Let me rewind several years….our oldest daughter got off the school bus for the last time that school year. I embraced my smiling Kindergarten graduate, looked at our cramped yet cozy home, caught a glimpse of my other girls dancing with their feather boas, and thought, “What are we going to do all summer????”
Ever the list-maker that I am, I rummaged through some craft supplies and pulled out faded pink construction paper. With markers, stickers, and glitter, we created the Martin Summer Goals poster. Together, we brainstormed all sort of amusing ideas to pass the warm weeks.
The goals I can remember that first year were: set up a lemonade stand, learn sidewalk chalk hopscotch, and fill a mason jar with fireflies. Those days where the whining was a little too much to bear, we’d go to the list and find a goal we had not yet completed, work together to have fun and learn something new, then cross it off. We were having fun learning to set priorities while making some awesome summer memories.
For the next 12 years, the goals list was the very first task we’d do after we hung up the backpacks and shoved algebra homework into the trash toter. Each of us would write our name and then list all of the dreams we wanted to fulfill for that summer.
Some of my favorites over the years have been: watch Elvis movies (“Kissin’ Cousins” was the best), get a killer tan (we only freckle), and teach the dog a new trick (she can now play dead). One year, Greg used a marker that sort of blurred his words together. His goal of “teach kids to iron” morphed into “take kids to Iran.”
As our family has gotten older, our ideas have grown bigger. It was last year when I realized one summer wasn’t enough time to accomplish many of the visions our family members had dreamed. So, January 2015 was the first time I pulled out a blank poster board and titled it “2015 Martin Family Goals.” I wondered what would happen if we had an entire year to tackle a project or brush up on a forgotten skill? The result was something I NEVER saw coming.
We each wrote our dreams in different colored Sharpies, and we taped it on the door leading into our garage, right off the entrance to our home. We had left a little bit of space on the poster for any late revelations to be written. After the first few days of its posting, I saw some new colors and names. My daughters’ friends had written THEIR own goals!!
I confess that my first thought was of frustration. “How could these kids think it was ok for them to put their quirky dreams on OUR poster?” After all, this was a MARTIN tradition! Why would Trey write “leave the country” next to my own wish to “light a fart?” Sarah snuck in her goal to “pass her AP exams” near Greg’s goal to “complete an Ironman.”
Slowly, as January rolled into February and more and more friends made their way into our home, my girls excitedly offered squares of paper to each and every one. Their eyes lit up when they said, “Omigosh – add to our list! What are your goals for 2015?” Kids would kick off their shoes and quickly grab a marker, as they rolled their eyes up in thought to search their minds. I started seeing our door, with different colored paper crookedly taped to it, as something so much more than a way to my van.
I saw past the scraps of paper and into the hearts of kids who are part of my own girls’ lives. Greg and I have always strived to be the “Kool Aid House,” where our meager home would attract kids and our girls would rather bring their friends to it then flee to someone else’s home. Could simply providing tape, paper, and a marker be a magnet for these kids we’d prayed for?
After being part of this phenomenon, I have to say yes – those three simple tools were a springboard for us to let kids realize that we truly want to know about their lives. I learned that Kirby wants to grow a man bun, Emma longs to control her sass, Alex needs to learn to do laundry, Mary Kate hopes to not get ‘roofied,’ Michael dreams of meeting Bono, and Big Mase desires to start a dance squad. When these fun kids come over, they’ll sit next to us on the couch and simply chill.
There has been more than one occasion when the intended Martin daughter a friend is coming over to hang with is not home, so the friend will shrug his or her shoulders, head to our pantry for a Pop Tart, then strut straight to a chair and just start chatting away. It does not matter what sort of deadline I may be facing, because letting that sweet soul know I want to hear whatever words he or she wants to say is more important than anything else.
As we are preparing for an adventurous 2016 and scribbling our visions, like my desire to meet Richard Simmons (don’t laugh), you can be sure that we will leave plenty of room on both the door and our living room for anyone who walks in the entryway.