It can start very simply, Mozart for babies, trampoline classes for toddlers, canvas and cupcakes for the preteens and nights out to concerts or plays for your teen set. Art is not just pictures. It is music, theatre, cooking, crafts and so much more. Below you will find a list of ideas to introduce or to continue to cultivate art in your life. Try one out this week and then come up with your own ideas to keep the lines of artful communication open. Start an art revolution in your children’s lives and they will go on to help continue that art revolution in the world.

1 Go Exploring.

Whether you are in Owensboro or on a family vacation, find a gallery or museum. Almost every town has one. Take an hour, take two, and just breathe in your surroundings. Ask your children what they see, how they feel, if they understand – you will be learning more than just about art you will be exploring your children too.

Owensboro Museum of Fine Arts – They have a wonderful children’s program called Artland. Check it out!
Studio Slant – Right now, they have an art show with super heroes in it. Who doesn’t love super heroes!?
First Center for the Visual Arts – Nashville is not only for clothes shopping. You can broaden your mind there too.

Speed Art Museum – You can head to Louisville, spend the night in the 21c Museum hotel where art is everywhere including the bathrooms, catch a Louisville Bats game (sports can be art too!) and take a tour of the Speed Art Museum. An entire weekend dedicated to the arts and your family!

2 Saturday Afternoon Art Time.

Next time there is a sunny day, take an old bed sheet, paint, brushes, spray bottles of chalk or anything you have laying around the house and lay it out on the ground outside and let them go wild. The thrill that they are creating on mom’s linens and the sheer scale of the finished project will be entertainment enough and they will be expanding their minds and themselves.

3 Art Classes.

Studio Slant offers Canvas & Cupcakes once a month. At the end of the two-hour sessions, everyone will have created a masterpiece for their bedroom and indulged in some cupcakes. If the cupcake crumbs get in the painting that just makes everything a little bit sweeter.

4 The Internet.

Find a website that offers suggestions and how to’s for craft projects you can do at home. These ideas run the gamut from large to small and all end with a tangible item or a memory of time spent with family. We love www.thelongthread.com, but there are many other wonderful blogs and sites to enlighten yourself and your children.

5 Art on your walls.

Art should be displayed and enjoyed. Nothing is better than when a parent hangs your work on the refrigerator. Take it one step further and create a gallery in your own home. Empty frames hung on the wall can become an ever-changing gallery space. You could even have an “end of the week gallery opening.” Invite the entire family to enjoy what was created that week; serve cookies and milk to your art patrons and know that you have just taught your children the joy of creating art and expressing themselves.

Educators universally recognize the value of art and what it can do to enhance learning but they cannot do it alone. Get involved with your children’s art education by offering outlets at home and then get involved by helping the teachers you know bring art to all. Who knows– you may not be raising the next great artists, but the next great art admirer.

By: Christy Taylor Chaney & Katherine Taylor

Experts in early childhood development have demonstrated that music does more for children than bring them joy; it helps their brain cells make the connections needed for virtually every kind of intelligence.

When young children are consistently engaged by music in an age-appropriate, socially accepting environment, they benefit at many levels:
They make gains in phonological processing, spoken language and comprehension skills that are the foundation of reading.
They build on the spatial-temporal and reasoning skills required for math, science and engineering.
They develop social and emotional skills that are essential for school readiness—like the ability to regulate their responses and relate to others in complex ways.
By moving and dancing to music and playing simple instruments, children improve their gross and fine motor skills. Activities that encourage freedom within a fun and friendly structure spark their creativity.
And of course, they develop a lifelong love of music.

Music Education for Young Children

Formal music programs typically divide classes by age while addressing various developmental stages and milestones. A broad, general outline for most early music programs includes four basic categories.

Newborns to 18 months

In the earliest music classes, special bonding moments between parent and baby include a variety of musical learning activities to stimulate and engage all of the senses. Parents can learn how to encourage a baby’s own learning through vocal play, object exploration, instruments and creative movement. Music classes for this age typically include:

Variety of music. Musical diversity builds strong neural networks in a baby’s forming mind; each class contains an array of styles, sounds and genres.

Instrument play. Age-appropriate experiences with child-safe instruments enhance a sense of rhythm and steady beat, develops a keen awareness of the distinguishing qualities of sound, and encourages spontaneity and creativity.

Dance. A classroom full of baby and adult pairs dancing together helps a little body develop muscle strength needed to crawl and walk and helps a little heart to fall in love with the sheer joy of responding to music.

Together time. Music class is a place to create special memories, gain new insights into a child’s development and nurture a child’s natural love of music.

18 months to 3 years

For toddlers, every day brings new discoveries and opportunities to explore the world. Despite their growing independence, toddlers still long for the safety and security of parental closeness. During this time, a toddler relishes the comfort of familiar things while seeking new challenges. Music classes for this age typically include:

Instrument exploration and ensemble skill development. Children explore the physical characteristics and sounds of age-appropriate instruments which will eventually lead to discovering potential for beat, rhythm and melodic ensemble playing.

Vocal play. Through vocal play, toddlers learn to form vowels and consonants, say words and phrases and imitate rhythm and vocal inflection.

Exploration Time. Children love discovering specially designed instruments, textures, sounds and movements.

Story time and early literacy. Listening to stories enhances language and speech development and fosters awareness of sounds, teaches use of language and sends the message that words and symbols have meaning. The same experiences that help a child learn to read a book also help a child learn to read music.

Movement Activities. Classes provide various opportunities for movement such as synchronized movement, group dances and circle games and even expressive movement.

Preschoolers age 3 to 4

Every day brings a new discovery as the preschooler slowly opens the doors of individuality and independence. A blanket becomes a superhero’s cape. A cardboard box doubles as a princess castle. Pots and pans become drum sets. Using the power of music, classes tap into the preschooler’s creative spirit and boundless energy and focus on developing a child’s learning strengths and self-confidence in order to be ready for school. Music classes for this age typically include:

Pretend Play. Pretend play activities are integrated with music, vocal development, storytelling, listening, movement and literacy aspects of each class. When based upon a child’s real life experiences, pretend play helps develop language, sensory, motor and cognitive skills.

Musical Variety and Singing. Activities include a mixture of musical genres and styles and provide a setting for the child to explore many voices and to develop their “singing voice.” Singing helps with memory and recall, physical development, creativity and socialization.

Storytelling and Literacy. Classes are built on the development of a story. Preschoolers search for words to say what they mean and try to keep up with their busy minds, emerging wants, needs, likes and dislikes.

Parent Involvement. Preschoolers are learning to be self-sufficient in a group setting of peers, while many times still needing the emotional security provided by a parent.

Students ages 5 to 7

Using a small-group approach to music education, classes provide an atmosphere where children can develop a strong musical foundation by learning the concepts, language, notation and vocabulary of music and its greatest composers. Classes prepare a younger student who is eager for first experiences with musical symbols and instrument discovery, but is not yet ready for formal lessons and traditional music reading with an instrument. Music classes for this age typically include:

Singing and vocal development. Children develop skills in using the language of professional musicians and composers while getting ready to read and write simple rhythm patterns.

Musical reading and writing. Children learn melodic and rhythmic notation eventually composing simple melodies of their own.

Focused listening. Children learn to identify a range of orchestra instruments and their sound qualities, while gaining an early awareness and knowledge of composers and masterworks.

Exploring and playing musical instruments. Authentic percussion, string, pre-keyboard and woodwind instruments expose children to many choices for future musical study and provide children the opportunity to musically succeed before taking on more formal instruction.

Cathy Mullins teaches beginning piano and Kindermusik classes at the Owensboro Symphony Academy. Cathy & her husband Tommy sing and play music together around town and are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this year. Together they have three grown children, Shaun, Brandon and Bethany and are expecting their first grandchild in October.

Spray Parks

Our boys can spend hours running through the water at spray parks– laughing, running, splashing, trying to guess where the water shoots next. We’ve been to the spray area at Legion Park when there were so many kids you couldn’t even count them all. The one at Yellow Creek is pretty popular as well. But did you know there is also a spray park at Panther Creek? It’s right in the front of the park by the new shelter house near Wayne Bridge Road. Grab some sunscreen, a few towels and a healthy snack and you’re good to go for a few hours.

Area Parks

One thing I’ve always loved about Owensboro is our park system. I can remember sliding down the rocket slide at Ben Hawes as a kid, and now our boys can climb straight up that same ladder to the second landing and zoom down that shiny metal sliding board. But the thing is there are lots of smaller neighborhood parks tucked away in almost every area of Owensboro. For example, Horse Creek Park off 54 has a great new playground. From our house, we can walk to York Park or Shifley Park, which are hardly ever crowded. For longer walks or wagon rides we can catch the greenbelt. Chautauqua, Moreland, Legion, English, Thompson-Berry– why not go on a “park tour” and try to hit them all this summer? Each one is a new adventure.

Western Kentucky Botanical Gardens

Speaking of the great outdoors, the Western Kentucky Botanical Garden is a beautiful place for a spring or summer walk. Just head down 4th St. to Carter Road and look for the large concrete silos marking the entrance. Admission is only $1 for kids and $5 for adults. The trail winds through 8 acres of flowerbeds, gardens and past a small pond. Pack a picnic for Thompson-Berry Park and you’ve got a great afternoon! For more info: e-mail wkbg@bellsouth.net or call (270) 852-8925.

Daviess County Public Library

You can always head indoors and enjoy the activities planned at the library on the second floor in the kid’s area. In the past they’ve had Lego Nights, puzzle and board games, craft time, and other fun stuff. They’re still working on scheduling, but the theme for this summer’s programming will be based around Ripley’s “Believe it or Not.” Call (270) 684-0211 near the end of May for details.

Museums

The Rotary Club “Playzeum” alone is well worth the $3 admission to the Owensboro Museum of Science and History (2 and under free). Kids will get a kick out of climbing through the tunnel overhanging Allen Street and the big tree house. All the Lightning McQueen fans in your house will love the NASCAR exhibit in the “Speedzeum,” featuring Owensboro natives Darrel & Michael Waltrip, the Green family, and the Hayden brothers. “Encounter” will keep them busy for a while too. If the museum is something your kids really love you may consider the family membership options, which start at $40/year and are good for a network of 300 other museums. Call (270) 687-2732 for more details.

You can also visit the Owensboro Museum of Fine Art. Visit ARTLAND, an interactive art studio created especially for children ages 4 to 10. It is a special place designed to challenge and stimulate the imagination while allowing children to create works of art at their own pace. ARTLAND features an art laboratory fully equipped with supplies and materials for making works of art and is complemented by child-sized easels and tables. Instruction is provided by art students from area colleges for seasonally themed projects. ARTLAND is free and open to all. Call (270) 685-3181 for more details.

Get Creative

Every now and then you just have to think a little outside the box. A friend of mine called one of the firehouses and set up a visit for him and his little girl. The firemen met them at the station, gave them a tour and gave her a plastic fire hat and a coloring book. Priceless!

More than once I’ve taken our boys to the northwest parking lot at the airport to watch the planes. One advantage of our small airport is you can actually see the planes land, taxi down the runway, and pull up to the terminal from the fence in that parking lot.

As summer approaches and daylight gets longer, I hope these ideas help you and your family make some great memories this summer.

By: Danny May who is a husband, father of two boys (4 and 2), and works at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church.

In the meantime, I have discovered a great outdoor activity that the whole family can get involved in. It is called “Geocaching.” Geocaching is a real world treasure hunting game…like an Easter egg hunt all year round. Players try to locate hidden containers called geocaches by using GPS enabled devices. Then they share their experiences online. 

Last year I went on a geocaching run with my son, Evan. We started at the Adkisson Greenbelt parking lot in Brookhill and ran all the way to JR Miller and back. Within that 3-4 mile distance there were nine geocaches. 

We had fun and made a great memory. It wasn’t about the run; it was about taking time in the refreshing outdoors with my son. We were able to find eight of the nine geocaches. 

Geocaching is free and because of the hunting element, it’s as much fun for kids as it is adults. 

Here’s what you need to get started. First, go to www.geocaching.com and set up a free account. If you have an iPhone, you can download a free app. I recommend this for reasons that will become apparent later.

Once you have your account, simply log on and begin searching for geocaches in Owensboro or anywhere in the world. Each geocache location is mapped by GPS. You may say, “What fun is that?” To be sure, without the GPS locator, you would never find the geocache. The GPS location may take you to the location, but that’s just the start of the hunt. Many geocaches are well hidden and some may even be disguised. 

[Spoiler alert]:  One of my favorite geocaches in Owensboro was one my son and I found disguised as a metal nut and bolt.  How clever!

When you log on to learn about geocaches in your search area, you are also given a description, a history of recent finds (a log), a hint and maybe even photos. If you have the app, all this information is portable and all in the palm of your hand. If not, you will need to write down all this critical information for each geocache you are trying to find in a notepad and take it with you. Now you see the beauty of the app!
 
Loaded with this list of geocaches to find, you need to bring a pencil or pen (for signing the log once you’ve found it), your GPS enabled device (your car’s GPS or GPS enabled phone will work), a small token or two for trading with a treasure geocache, and an adventurous, alligator-friendly spirit.

A couple years ago, I was able to take my family to Pawley’s Island, SC. This leisurely family vacation was made even more memorable by our hunts for geocaches. One cache took us to a pond, where we saw an 11-foot, live alligator. Another took us under a grove of palmetto trees to a box with various tokens we could take with us as souvenirs (of course we left a token of our own). 

Worldwide, there are 1,712,727 geocaches to find– enough to keep even your most energetic child busy. There are over 100 in Owensboro alone.

After you have found a few geocaches and have made some great family memories, try hiding a few geocaches yourself. Once hidden, you will receive an e-mail each time someone finds it.

Geocaching is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon with the family. So turn off the TV for a few hours, load up the family and hunt for some real treasures. Each geocache is unique. It could be under a rock, in a tree, in a box, found in a toy spider (yes, there IS one in a toy spider out there somewhere) and all around your neighborhood, schools, businesses and parks. 

Make a new memory this May by geocaching with your family.

By: Dean Ehrenheim who, with his wife Jeanette, is raising four great kids. He regularly writes about his experiences in parenting, coaching and wellness. His email is dmeymca@gmail.com.

Neil Hayden, 31, and his wife Kristi Hayden, 30, are both teachers for Daviess County Public Schools. Neil is currently a social studies teacher and boys’ basketball junior varsity coach at Apollo and Kristi is a kindergarten teacher at Tamarack Elementary School. They have been married eight years, but started dating in 1997 while they were both attending McLean County High School. The couple married in 2004 and in October 2009 they had Riley Faith, their first daughter. 
 

Can you tell us a little about your daughter’s diagnosis?

Neil: Our daughter, Jordan Grace, has HLHS. This is a rare heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. This defect occurs in one in every 100 births. This means her left ventricle chamber of her heart did not develop in the womb and it will not ever develop. This will potentially affect her the remainder of her life, but a lot is still unknown since the oldest living person with HLHS is around 42 years of age. Modern medicine has helped to advance treatment but the heart defect affects each person differently. Best-case scenario is that she may be on medication the rest of her life and she will get exhausted faster than most people.

Jordan will need three surgeries in her first three years of life, which will change the direction of her blood flow. The first surgery is supposed to take place within the first week of life, the second after her fourth or fifth month of life, and the third surgery between 2 and 3 years of age. However, Jordan has an even more rare situation. At 32 weeks pregnant we were made aware of HLHS, but what we didn’t know is Jordan had a second complication. She has an intact atrial septum, meaning the blood could not flow through her heart and she was getting a backflow to her lungs, which kept her lungs from fully developing. This has significantly delayed Jordan from being able to have her first surgery. The doctors need her lungs to become stronger and have appropriate blood flow. The only way to fix this problem is time. At the moment we have been in the hospital four weeks and the doctors believe it may be at least two to three more weeks until she can have her first surgery. If and when the first heart surgery is completed, it may be an additional two to six weeks for her to recover from the surgery. The major concern with waiting for her lungs to develop is possible infection from the lines that give her the medication she needs.

The first two weeks were very difficult. Jordan was not strong enough to have consecutive good days. Four times in the first two weeks we were told that she may not make it much longer and we should contact our family. We actually arranged some family photos because we thought it would be the only chance we would have in order to have everyone together, meaning myself, Kristi, Jordan and our 2-year-old daughter, Riley. 
 

How did you as parents feel about her diagnosis? How do you cope?

Neil: I think we have been able to deal with the situation we are facing for several reasons. First and foremost, we trust God’s plan and His will. Through prayer and scripture reading we have been able to face this adversity knowing we have an eternal blessing in this situation. We realize God can heal her (James 5:15). We don’t know why Jordan is facing this, but it doesn’t change our faith in God. God has placed people and scripture in our lives each day to give daily grace. It’s been interesting to see how God has been with us each day. I honestly mean that, I could share several stories to show how God has suppressed our anxiety and fears in all of this.   
 
When we were first told of the diagnosis, Kristi and I faced overwhelming emotions. We have shared many tears together, but Kristi has approached this one step at a time. She knew it wasn’t anything she had done, so her only option was to take small steps and prepare for the situations we knew would be presented. Most importantly, Kristi treated this like her first birth. She had baby clothes made, prepared the nursery, and has displayed excitement like she did for Riley. I believe this is important to not hold back any excitement or love for our newest addition.
 
Kristi: When we found out her diagnosis, I felt very helpless. After the initial shock of finding out we began to hear stories of children with the same heart condition who were doing incredibly well. After a week or so I could talk about it without crying, but then it was just the fear of the unknown. We knew God had a plan in all of it, but He wasn’t let us in on it just yet.
 

What has been the most challenging part? Are there any rewards or lessons you have gained from this experience?

Neil: The most challenging part is the waiting and the unexpected. The continual delay for the first surgery was unexpected and it has been a slow process. The most challenging moments have been the four situations in which we thought we might lose her. Having to prepare yourself for those moments are very difficult and having to call loved ones and explain the situation is something I would not wish upon anyone.

There have been many rewards, but one stands out for me personally.  The last time we had to call our family to come back to Louisville my wife refused to accept it.  She continually dismissed the notion that Jordan was not going to pull through. I have to admit after the fourth time of hearing this I had slowly began to think Jordan may not survive. I was encouraged by my wife and it was amazing to see her strength and resolve.    
 
Kristi: As a mother, the hardest part for me, besides the possibility of losing her, has been not being able to take care of her, like feed her, hold her and rock her. Now that she has been more stable, the nurses have let me change her diapers. I never thought I would be so happy to change a poopy diaper! Neil and I also had the wonderful privilege of getting to hold her on Easter.

I remember the first time we saw her open her eyes. We were standing at her bedside early one morning when there was a room full of doctors making their rounds, discussing the next steps to take in her care. I was facing a window when the sun started rising and with tears in my eyes and my husband’s arms around me the sun hit my face. I knew then that everything was going to be okay. It felt like God showing me His grace and telling me I could finally breathe.

Can you describe her birth and the emotions you felt?

Kristi: It is so hard to describe her birth because I could not help being excited for the new life coming into this world, but I was also scared out of my mind knowing what she was going to be facing. I tried to push those scary feelings away and focus on bringing her into this world safely. I was induced at 39 weeks so I could give birth in Louisville. She weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. and was 20 inches long. This was our first blessing because the bigger she was the better. The doctors wanted her to be at least 6 lbs. before surgery, so that was one less hurdle we had to jump. I had really good labor and deliveries with both of my girls. Giving birth is one of the most amazing feelings and I am blessed to have been able to do it twice.
 

What kind of support have you received since your daughter was born?

Neil: The support has been amazing. Apollo High, Daviess County Middle and Tamarack Elementary have been very supportive. Co-workers have donated Kristi sick days, given us, including Riley, gifts as well as money. Area church pastors as well as our own pastor, Greg Faulls of Bellevue, have called us and stopped by to pray with us. Many friends have called and stopped by to pray with us and do simple things such as watch a ball game with us. Our parents have been a vital role, from keeping our dogs to watching Riley overnight.

I started a blog to help keep family and friends stay up to date and it has been very encouraging. With social networking today, the blog has spread to over 12 countries and people from around the U.S. have contacted us about similar situations or just to give us support/prayer.  (www.jordansheart.wordpress.com)  
 

What advice would you give to other parents that may one day face having a sick child? 

Neil: The only advice I can truly recommend is to keep your foundation intact. Our foundation has been our belief in God’s plan. By realizing the eternal blessing we are receiving from Jordan, it allows us to cope and stay mentally fresh. I don’t know why we are going through this, but I know the same God that is allowing it to happen is also the same God that has given us our second daughter, Jordan Grace. By believing in this foundation we haven’t spent time questioning God or arguing amongst ourselves. Together we have been able to stay levelheaded, because we can look at the big picture during difficult moments. The only choice someone has in this type of situation is to take one obstacle at a time.

Kristi, as Mother’s Day approaches, what are you thankful for?

Kristi: I am so thankful to have a wonderful, supportive husband who has been my rock through all of this. He is such a strong spiritual leader for our family and the most amazing dad for our girls. I am thankful to have two beautiful daughters. I am so proud to be the wife and mother of these three people that God has blessed me with.

As a family we want to say how truly blessed we are to have such wonderful, supportive family, friends, church family and colleagues and even complete strangers. We would not have made it this far without all of the love and prayers that we have received.

By: Ashley Sorce, a first-time mommy, a not-so-newlywed, an organizational freak and the editor of this awesome magazine. (Which is, of course, a totally unbiased opinion.)

1 Schedules

Depending on how your children operate, a schedule can really come in handy and bring some needed structure to your days. Kids like to know what is coming up. If you are going to the pool on Tuesdays and Thursdays have it written down so that they can see it. If bedtime is at 9 p.m., let them know ahead of time to avoid any arguments. Then you know what time you get to kick back and watch your shows!

2 Boredom

Kids get bored and they get bored quickly. After the first couple of weeks you might find yourself wanting to pull your hair out because they keep saying they’re bored! A great way to kick boredom is to keep kids active. Walk the dog, ride bikes, go to the park, play basketball, swim. Summer is the season of endless outdoor activities. Kids who are active sleep better! I’m just saying.

3 Reading

Summer is a great time to read! I know that school is not in session, but teaching your child to read for fun is one of the greatest gifts you can teach them. It is so easy to shut your brain off, play video games and do nothing all summer. Check with your elementary schools for library programs that offer incentives for summer reading. Or you can offer your own incentives. “We’ll go to the movies on Friday if you read for thirty minutes a day.” Make it fun!

4 Money

Do not let money or lack of it to cause you to have a bummer summer. We are so fortunate to live in a resource-rich community. There are lots of activities that won’t cost you a dime to have fun. We have awesome parks and several of them have water parks. Culture is free. Soak it up! Go to the science museum, the botanical gardens or the art museum. See page 36 for a full list of summer fun that won’t break the bank.

5 Buddies

When in doubt, call a friend. It’s always a good idea to have some play dates on speed dial. Sometimes kids need a change of scenery too. It gives you someone else to chat with and the kids get to see their friends. So plan a day trip with your buddies and make a day of it.

6 Me Time

Take some time for yourself. Have a girl’s night or a guy’s night, go shopping, plan a date night, play 18 holes of golf or get a mani/pedi. It is so important to take time for you as a parent. It’s your summer too and it only comes around once a year. I highly encourage each and every one of you to have a ME PARTY! Your kids will thank you.

It seems as if life goes by so fast these days. The moments and the memories that you and your family make this summer will last a lifetime. Keep that in mind when you are tired, had a hard day at work or didn’t get much sleep. It makes me think of all the times that my own child has said, “Mom, Mom, watch me!” And you know what…I always do because I know it is a “moment” I will want to remember later in my life. Make your summer one to remember!

By: Christina Dalton, MSSW, CSW is the Family Resource Center Coordinator
for Daviess County Public Schools.

It is God’s gifts of mercy and humor that carry our family through difficult circumstances. I never tire when He is heavy handed with the humor, especially in our parenting. Our children, Beau and Brynna have been guinea pigs. When we are laughing, that means we are not crying!

Unlike some little girls, I didn’t dream of being a mom. The very thought of being responsible for a little one frightened me, for the child of course.

However, my elation at learning my husband, Paul, and I were pregnant erased reservations about becoming a parent.

Parents often dream of the great things their child will do in the world. Paul and I were no different. We began preparing them as babies for NASA, the White House, the stage or professional sports.

We consider ourselves lucky if they share our common passions or surpass our expectations.

Just when Paul and I got comfortable dreaming of our baby’s future, God sounded an alarm that woke us up. Who would have guessed it would be an alarm at the birth of our first child, Beau Peyton.

Paul and I weren’t really “welcomed” into parenthood. I would say it was more like we were catapulted at an alarming rate of speed. We just did what any other unassuming young parents would do. We put our safety belts on and braced for impact.

Beau was beautiful. So beautiful– just like his name. But his disposition, OH MY! He cried every time his eyes were open. I know individuals who were nicknamed “Smiley” because of their precious disposition as a baby; Beau’s would have been more like “Sour Puss.” Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like “Smiley.”

Beau wasn’t progressing like other babies born around the same time, and he often slipped away into his own little world. He just didn’t seem to really bond with anyone– me the most. We were not in the habit of comparing him to other children, but these were noticeable and more obvious differences. We started feeling a tugging in our hearts that something was wrong developmentally.

He made no attempts to walk or crawl until he was about 18 months old. He showed no interest in playing with other kids. Beau liked toys, but didn’t play appropriately with them. He would line them up to look at them and just become attached, in spite of having no imaginary play with them. It was just strange.

After playing several rounds of “what could it be,” we finally put a name to this puzzling behavior: autism.

It was devastating watching our son miss milestone after milestone.

Long before we had a formal diagnosis, Paul and I mourned our idea of a “normal” existence for our little one.

We had questions.
· Will he fit in with peers?
· Will he have trouble in school?
· Will he play sports?
· Will he graduate high school/college?
· Will he get married?
· Will he be able to work?
· Will he be able to live on his own?
· Who will take care of him if something should happen to us?

We were awakened to the fact that our dreams for Beau were not God’s plan.

Paul and I experienced stares, ugly comments and lack of understanding. This definitely wasn’t our dream for our son.

When I hear the news of another autism diagnosis, my mind retreats to the raw emotions we felt. It was while sorting through our dreams we began to discover God’s reality and feel His mercy.

Thankfully, Beau has been a testimony to us that autism is not life limiting, just life altering.

Beau’s meltdowns are fewer and farther between, but can still bring me to my knees asking God for guidance.

It’s therapeutic to acknowledge our struggles and heartaches with autism but we don’t want them to define Beau or our family.

Beau’s existence is completely normal to him; he’s glad the alarm sounded because those dreams we had would seem crazy to him.

We see blessings in autism. God has given us the ability to laugh over some of our dreams now, many years removed, providing much needed perspective as we parent both of our kids.

Paul would watch anything, even ping pong, if it came on ESPN. He naturally had aspirations that his son might share his passion for all things sports. But Beau… well, he doesn’t like sports. It would be cruel and unusual punishment to make him play a sport.

It still hurt Paul that Beau didn’t want to play sports, but it wasn’t that autism limited him; it is just something Beau doesn’t like.

God awakened us to see that Beau not wanting to play sports is okay, and we now find him gifted in other areas that were not on our “dream-dar.” Paul and I are reminded that we can learn a few lessons from Beau Rafferty.

Beau is honest to a fault. He freely breaks out in song or dance, a freedom I wish I had. He rarely makes judgments, or at least he doesn’t verbalize them. He has a wonderful sense of humor like his mother. And he is a very kind big brother to Brynna. Just ask her, she will tell you.

Had I not woken up, I might continue to impress what I thought should be Beau’s purpose on him. Though autism wasn’t something Paul and I planned, God did!

I’m reminded of this through scripture.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

Just when I start dreaming my own dreams again, the alarm sounds and I call upon the Lord by reciting Jeremiah 29:11 and inserting their names…“For I know the plans I have for Brynna/Beau, declares the LORD….”

Being a parent is hard! Maybe you’ve been awakened from dreams for your children and you are still hurting. If this is the case, insert your child’s name into Jeremiah 29:11.

Paul and I sleep easier and laugh more often trusting God’s promises are fulfilled when we WAKE UP and stop trying to make our dreams fit our kids. He brings a better reality into any situation…even autism.

Though I sometimes still get sleepy for my dreams for the kids, I’m forever thankful that God woke us up!

Jaime Rafferty enjoys writing, as a hobby. She lives is Owensboro with her husband, Paul and their two children. More about the Rafferty’s can be found at http://findingtherightpiece.blogspot.com

6 tips for encouraging children to make to make healthier eating choices

1. All of us know that fresh fruits and vegetables are good for children (and adults). But how do we get kids to like these foods? Part of the answer lies in the way the message is delivered. If we berate our kids for eating bad foods, they will just become defensive and not change their behavior. A better approach is to involve children, even toddlers, in the preparation and planning of meals. Even a very picky child is more likely to try broccoli if you call it “little trees” and they help you rinse it, or if they can dip it in an interesting sauce. Many children will refuse a food prepared one way, but the same food is more enticing if presented more excitingly. I have never liked cooked spinach, but spinach salad is one of my favorites. Also, never assume that a child “hates” a food the first time it is offered. Most young children will require up to ten attempts at a new experience before they will accept it, particularly new foods.

2. Be careful of raw vegetables and fruits in children younger than 4 years old. They have not yet mastered chewing, so any food they eat should be soft and able to dissolve in the mouth. Grapes and cherries with pits may cause choking, as well as celery or raw carrots; cooked carrots are usually softer and sweet enough that toddlers think they are candy!

3. With older children, who can raid the pantry on their own, the challenge becomes more about access. If sweets and chips are available, they may not reach for the fresh bananas and apples as an after-school snack. It is surprising how much these kids model the behavior they see in parents. If the adults in the house snack on chocolate instead of fruit, then the kids will follow that lead. The best way to encourage these older kids to develop good habits for life is to rid the house of all the bad influences, or at least limit the choices and quantity available.

4. Obesity is certainly a growing problem in our society, but food choices are just a small part of the solution. Screen time (including TV, games and computer/phone) should be limited to two hours a day, leaving more time for physical activity, especially outdoors. The more time children are active, the less time there is for them to eat because of (perceived) boredom. Once again, parents are the role models here, so set a good example by limiting food to one after-school snack and eating the morning and evening meals together as a family.

5. When children participate in growing the food, they are also more invested, and they will often try raw fruits and vegetables before they will taste steamed or other means of preparation. Raw produce always has more of the nutrients in a form that is better absorbed by the body than the cooked version. Fruits have vitamin C, to boost skin and immune health; yellow and green vegetables have vitamin A and beta-carotene for better vision and brain development. Zinc is a common deficiency, leading to more frequent infections. Dry beans and pumpkin seeds have lots of zinc, but most of the other sources are animal-based, like eggs and lean red meats. Calcium is really important in teens, who often are not very interested in milk. If your teen has an aversion to dairy products, steer her toward yogurt and deep-green vegetables like spinach or soy-based foods like tofu.

6. Parents are often surprised at the number of calories and other nutrients their children need. We almost always OVER estimate our children’s needs and UNDER estimate their true intake. Remember that even snacks have calories and some nutritional benefit, especially if we switch to fruits instead of chips. Toddlers only need 1,000-1,500 calories daily, and school age kids 1,500-2,400 calories. Girls may need 200 calories more during the growth spurt that hits around 10-12 years old, the most they will ever need in their lives. Boys have the peak growth spurt about 2-3 years later and need 500 extra calories at this age. Any parent of a high school boy can attest to the volume of food they can go through in a day!

Dr Gannon had the good fortune to have a child who decided to be almost meat-free for the first 5 years, but now she has discovered bacon and pepperoni! We are still working on the role model thing…

With so much emphasis on teaching tested subject matter in our school systems, we may be neglecting one of the most important aspects of education — character. The quote by Theodore Roosevelt brings the point home because our children could be stars in the classroom or all-star athletes, but if their character training has been neglected, true friends and admirers of their character, rather than their abilities, could be scarce. 

So where do we start with character training? The ‘Golden Rule’ is a good start. Treat others the way you want to be treated is a motto we can all embrace. As a child, I remember my dad saying over and over: ‘Pretty is as pretty does,’ ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover,’ or ‘Now, just act as good as you look.’ The repetition of these clichés ingrained in me the principles and ideals that I still practice and share with my own children and grandchildren. This is just one of the ways we teach. In order to teach the character trait of respect, we start focusing on the Golden Rule, by repeating it often and asking the questions “would you want someone to treat you that way or to say that to you?” By using these techniques we can bring the golden rule and respect into each situation. One of my personal favorites is the “what if” game. “What if someone treated you that way? How would you feel?”

For a fun activity with your children, take a ruler, cover it with glue and sprinkle it with gold glitter. What a great reminder of the Golden Rule! Make posters or signs to put on mirrors in the house. Ask your children to find examples of people using the Golden Rule in the newspaper. If they enjoy drawing, draw pictures of people being nice to each other. Then talk about it around the table. Children are very observant and they can probably point out when you follow or don’t follow the Golden Rule; so you’ll have to watch your own words and actions. What a great opportunity to build your own character while influencing your children!

I was once focusing on the concept of coveting, which is a difficult principle for young children to understand. I knew my son understood when he caught his father wanting another homeowners’ pile of topsoil!  He said, “Dad you can’t want that dirt because it belongs to someone else. That’s coveting! But… you can want one like it!”

Reward systems are a nice method to use with the Golden Rule. Showing respect and using manners are the basics when teaching this simple concept of mutual respect. Creating a chart with stars for good deeds or a manners chart that is filled in by a caring adult is productive. Rewards can include making a cake together for someone who is sick, doing a good deed for a neighbor together or reading to a shut-in. Teaching respect means showing respect to those who we often forget. A fun project for children of all ages is to be a pen pal to a nursing home resident. Ask the activity director of a facility to give you a name. Exchange letters for a few weeks, and then take your child to meet their pen pal!

The dinner table can be a great place to share daily examples of how we have shown or been shown respect throughout our day.  After dinner is a perfect time to read stories and books which teach respect and use the Golden Rule.  Some examples for children might be ‘Friend is Someone Who Likes You’ by J. Anglund, ‘Rubber Shoes, A Lesson in Gratitude’ by Gladys Barbiere, or ‘Velveteen Rabbit’ by M. Bianci.  For teens some choices include ‘Sounder’ by W.H. Armstrong, ‘Contender’ by R. Lipsyte, or ‘Cat Ate My Gymsuit’ by P. Danzinger.  A complete list of character books that teach respect, trustworthiness, responsibility, caring, fairness and citizenship can be found by category and age level at http://charactercounts.org/resources/booklist.php. Many of these books can be found at the Daviess County Public Library.

For more ideas on activities that teach respect, visit the Daviess County Extension Office or web site.  If you have a good idea on how to teach respect, share it on our Facebook page. Let’s all start thinking about how to build character!   

Christy Ramey is the Daviess County Extension Agent for Family and Consumer Sciences. She has been married for 38 years and have three children and three grandchildren.

Even though I meant no harm, the naïve words of a grade-schooler hurt poor Mrs. Reever. 

A couple years later I misspoke again. Oh, to take back words uttered in ignorance. I remember it like it was yesterday. My aunt picked up my brother and me in her little red convertible. She was introducing us to her nieces from her husband’s previous marriage. I remember they were cute girls and after getting up the nerve to speak to them I pointed at one girl’s mouth and blurted out, “Are those buck teeth?”  The words had only just left my mouth when her hand impacted my check.  Whoa…what was that all about? 

My aunt told me that I was rude to ask that. They both thought I was taunting this girl. Heck, I was just a little kid of 9 or 10 and didn’t realize the question was rude.

But we all say things we wish we hadn’t.

Winston Churchill said, “I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.” We all make blunders from time to time. Even as imperfect as we are as parents, it is our duty to teach our children to speak kind and uplifting words.

When our kids were younger we would often have “family night.” On one such evening we decided to take them through a devotion on uplifting one another and the power of words.

We bought each of our four kids a tube of toothpaste. We gave them the tube and a large piece of butcher paper. We told them to squeeze out the paste in any way or design they wanted. After that, we simply asked them to put the toothpaste back in the tube. They looked at us like we were crazy. After about five minutes of attempts and laughter, they realized once the paste was out of the tube, it wasn’t going back in. Not only wouldn’t it go back in, it made an awful mess trying to put it back.
 
We were able to tell them that words are like toothpaste. Once they come out, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t put them back – they are out for good. The book of Proverbs says, “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.”  It also says “Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.” And they’ll probably get slapped too.

This little devotion was messy and fun. That’s why they will remember it all of their lives.  Try it if you have young kids. This fun family activity will reinforce just how powerful words can be.

Obviously, when kids use bad words or speak hurtfully, parents need to step in, being careful to react in an age appropriate way. There is a difference between childish irresponsibility (telling a sweet lady that she reminds you of your grandmother) and willfully hurting (calling someone names). Both certainly need correction, but not necessarily punishment. 

So the old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” just isn’t true.  Today our culture has all but extinguished the “N” word from our daily vocabulary.  We now clearly understand how hurtful that can be to an entire group of people. 

Once again, our culture is saying NO to a hurtful word.  The “R” word (retard) is derogatory and painful to the families dealing with special needs. God created each and every one of us to be special, unique and in His image. Using the “R” word lessens the value of all of God’s people. 

Words have power. In the movie “The Help,” housekeeper Aibileen consistently tells little Mae Mobley, ‘You is smart…you is kind…you is important.” Aren’t those the kind of words YOU would like to hear? Words can hurt, but they can also build up. Let’s model good words and teach our children to do the same.

Dean Ehrenheim, with his wife Jeanette, is raising four great kids. He regularly writes about his experiences in parenting, coaching and wellness. His email is dmeymca@gmail.com.