By: Elizabeth Muster
Oh how life changed when I became a mother! From the moment that second line finally appeared on a pregnancy test after tossing so many one-liners in the trash month after month, my world was different.
For thirty-eight weeks there were morning sickness, backaches, and swollen feet – aggravating, but not surprising. I had longingly listened to my coworkers’ stories, perused friends’ blogs and Facebook posts, and watched sitcoms recounting pregnancy, labor and delivery, midnight feedings, and diaper blow-outs. But parenthood is something that no matter how many editions of What to Expect When You’re Expecting you read or how many shelter cats you adopt, you can’t fully understand until the baby arrives.
It might be cliché, but a good-night’s sleep was the first thing to go. Madeline Grace was born at 5:52 p.m. on September 21. Besides recovery, grandparents visiting, and countless nurses checking both of our vitals, there was this new human being. She was overwhelmed by her vast new surroundings, so she cried. I was awed by how beautiful and perfect she was, so I cried too. I refused to sleep because I wanted to take in every sound, movement, and smell. At 4 a.m., her daddy and I finally let the staff take Maddie to the nursery. Sleep has been a battle ever since.
Nearly three months later, sleep deprivation is lessening. My husband has been a great help with bottle feedings and household chores, and Maddie Grace is an easy-going baby. A few nights lately she has slept seven hours straight! Needless to say, tonight was not one of those nights, so I am up writing this article at 3:30 a.m. Occasionally, I peer into the bassinet next to my bed so I can check to see if my swaddled bundle has her eyes shut. She does, but I may need to activate the heartbeat rhythm on the sound machine to lull my brain back to slumber.
Another surprise is how much a baby needs. As I created a registry last spring, I thought those must-have lists on Pinterest had surely been planted by Babies R’ Us CEOs. Okay, so maybe a wipe warmer isn’t a necessity, but anything that makes baby happy makes momma happy. Except during assembly. The changing table nearly became a backyard bonfire as two college-educated adults struggled for five hours to set it up. I wrestle with the Diaper Genie every time I refill it, but it does grant my wish of keeping the house from smelling like poopy diapers.
Every time Maddie and I go out we are accompanied by an entourage of equipment. Carrying her in the car seat is like an Iron Man competition, and the stroller takes up most of the back end of my SUV. Overnight trip? Add the Pack-n-Play and our suitcases – plus Grammy – and the Ford Edge becomes a clown car.
Most of all, I am amazed by my own transformation. I am still me: wife, daughter, sister, writer, and teacher. But now I am also Maddie Grace’s mother. It’s my greatest accomplishment — just look at my Facebook page.
Two weeks into my maternity leave, I texted one of my coworkers and told her I would create lessons from home and email them to school. Since I wasn’t teaching, I was bored. I hadn’t yet comprehended that whole “sleep while the baby sleeps” mantra. A mother of three herself, she laughed at my Type-A-ness and refused my offer. I’m sure glad she did. Instead, I snuggled with my little girl, read books to her, and entertained her with toys. I taught myself how to be a mom.
As I prepare to go back to work in January, I pray that I can balance all these roles while maintaining my sanity. My coworkers can offer advice between my stories of Maddie Grace’s latest accomplishments. Hopefully my students will recognize me with bags under my eyes and dried milk in my hair. And if I wear my shirt inside-out, may they be as kind as the cashier at Sam’s Club in pointing out my faux pas. I know it will be tough, but I’ll figure it out, as so many good teacher-mommies (including my own) have done before.